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Bernheim Forest, Kentucky, USA
October 2015
Jonathan Spurgeon
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I remember a few years ago that one of my greatest friends
was giving me a hard time that I love snow and Africa. She thought it was so
funny that two of my great loves in life will rarely be together at the same
time. It is true, I love snow and have plenty of pictures and witnesses to show
it. But I also love fall. There is something so majestic as the leaves change
and the atmosphere becomes something different. My first fall season away and I
already caved and ask some people to send me some pictures of it. One picture I
received seems to so accurately depict the last three months for me.
What is the absolute first thing you notice when you see the
photo?
1. The shadowy area in the foreground?
2. The highlighted spot near the bottom right where the sun
catches some leaves?
3. The branches protruding on the right?
4. The fall colors showing through the front trees on the
left?
5. The one tree that seems to stick up higher than the rest
of the landscape in the right third of the photo?
6. The leaves that go to the top on the right when there is
only sky on the left?
7. The fall leaves covering the landscape in the distance?
8. The sky? And how it changes colors?
What else do you see?
Now that you have read the above list and have gone back to
the photo to observe each aspect, have you noticed anything else? What stands
out to you the most? Any ideas what causes that part to be the most noticeable
to you?
For me….the more I have looked at the photo the more I see
it whole yet still recognize each aspect that makes it what it is. Maybe that’s
not possible, yet it’s how I feel.
1. The shadowy foreground:
The last 2 ½ months have had so much darkness for me. There
have been times of great frustration and times of countless tears. Some days I
was so consumed with lack of understanding of why things were happening both
from an Earthly perspective and from a spiritual/faith perspective that all I
could do was go through the motions and wake up again the next day. I have
longed greatly for practical answers to questions. It made it so hard to see
what could come in the future.
2. The highlighted spot near the bottom right where the sun
catches some leaves:
Even through so much darkness, there were times of
beauty. I made new friendships. I was
blessed with new friends that had similar experiences as me and have helped and
continue to help me through this process. I have been blessed with gifts both
material and financial (and edible….ahem…meetings at Java). Times of laughter and silliness with a new
friend and her young daughter brought me almost to happy tears a few times.
3. The branches protruding on the right:
And then when I would least expect it, something else would
happen. It may have been small but it hurt. Unwanted news or a difficult
situation would come to the surface and it would seemingly reopen the wounds
that had begun to heal.
4. The fall colors showing through the front trees on the
left?
If you look closely at the lower left portion of the photo,
some of the fantastic colors of fall show through the darkened trees in the
front. Some days the confusion about everything was overwhelming and dominated
the days. But when I stop and take time to refocus I could see how things can
be beautiful. It is similar to what I discussed in another post.
5. The one tree that seems to stick up higher than the rest
of the landscape in the right third of the photo?
This is the obvious positive. This tree is beautiful and
easily spotted. Going to Kampala will have some perks. It will be a completely
fresh start and it will come with much better communication abilities.
6. The leaves that go to the top on the right when there is
only sky on the left?
They are dark just as the majority of the leaves in the
foreground. You can’t miss them. I think this chapter of my journey will always
be a big part. It cannot be missed because it has so much meaning (even if I
can’t see that meaning now). Although, when you look closer, the leaves have a
bit of a purple tinge to them. There is beauty in that. The last few months will
somehow create beauty. They will make something I didn’t know was possible and
that will only be possible because of the darkness that I have experienced.
7. The fall leaves covering the landscape in the distance?
These leaves are pure beauty. It is a classic scene of
autumn. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t love this type of scenery. People may
not like the chilly weather this time of year but the beauty in nature is
undeniable. We can’t appreciate that without the heat of summer and the
bareness of winter. I won’t be able to appreciate all that is in the future
without this chapter. When you set aside the label of missionary and the
location of Africa, it holds true still. You can’t fully appreciate the joyful,
beauty filled, glorious moments without knowing sad, dark, and agony filled
moments.
8. The sky? And how it changes colors?
The sky makes me thing of the Spirit. It may be a cliché comparison
as it is something we know is there but cannot actually touch it. The sky
changes colors in this photograph. To me this is symbolic of how the Spirit
changes for us. The Spirit is our healer, our comforter, our protector, and our
provider……just to name a few. There must be something that God wants to be for
me that He could not have been for me had I not had this chapter in my journey.
We can get so fixed on the blue sky that we don’t notice the array of colors
[especially at sunset]. We can get so fixed on God providing for us that we don’t
notice He does so much more.
The decision that I would not be returning
to the village
was and still is heartbreaking.
I must stay strong in my faith that God
has
something better planned. He has known
this would happen all along. He knows
that
my heart still aches greatly.
