Possessions

Possessions. Everyone has them. Most have too many. Some only have the shirt on their back.

I have been struggling with this recently. I like to think I am a frugal person, and one that stays in check. I don't severely limit myself to only 2 pairs of shoes, 5 shirts, and 2 pairs of pants. (I am also not saying that is wrong if you live your life that way by choice or circumstance.) But on the other hand, I don't go shopping on a regular basis for new things just because I can.

Currently, I do live with some beyond describable amazing friends. Because of this, I mostly have all my possessions in my bedroom. There are a few out of season things in the shed and some childhood keepsake items at my mom's. Compared to the majority of those in Western culture, I would venture to say that I don't have much. I understand that compared to the world as a whole, I am filthy rich. I have a car, a roof over my head, running water, electricity, plenty of clothes, food at every meal, and food any other time.

After two trips to Africa and a minimum of one in the future, I am becoming increasingly aware of "stuff". The stuff we need, stuff we want, stuff we think we need, stuff we get because we can, and the list could go on. I have been trying to make an effort to accept what I have and live with that. It may take more planning and will definitely take a strong will. For example, always take a lunch and/or snack for long days at work/school. There is no need to spend the gas, time, and money on something else when the cupboards and fridge are full. Food is just one small example that is easy to point out.

I struggle to find the balance between living below my means but not putting myself in poverty. I have met kids and families that literally live in the dump. I have met hundreds of kids that are orphans with maybe 3 outfits, one meal a day, and a mismatched pair of shoes that used to fit a few months ago. That definitely does NOT mean that I have to live by those standards. just because I know these kids that live by the dump does not mean that I should sell most of my belongings, quite bathing on a regular basis, move out of my friends house, and live by the local dump here.

I was at a friend's house this weekend. Every time I stay there I notice this dresser that is in the bedroom. I really like the style of it and the variety of compartments. I think to myself that maybe one day I will have something like that. Sometimes, I start to imagine what I would keep in each space. Then I realize what's happening. I get frustrated with myself for WANTING something that I definitely do NOT NEED. I have a perfectly fin dresser and closet situation that suites me just fine. It actually suites me more than I need because I have too many clothes that don't get used often enough.

Leaving the house and headed somewhere I see a motorcyclist. I used to have a motorcycle. (I bet you didn't know that.) It makes me WANT one again. Makes me wish I could make that work for my schedule and for the craziness that I am part of now. But I don't NEED it. I have a perfectly fine car that transports me where I need to go. (I wonder how many of those orphans have even been in a car.)

Frustration fills me to the edges when this happens. Of course the higher the frustration, the more it seems like it happens. How could I WANT so much? I know God has placed the Peace Corps in my path! It is in the plan (unless something changes because He can do that). That is not a place that you can WANT things beyond the basics that it takes to survive.

I feel like this is something I will have to overcome.