Anticipatory thoughts about the future…..

Regard as probably; expect or predict.
Guess or be aware of (what will happen) and take action in order to be prepared.
Look forward to.

All of those are listed as definitions for anticipate. All of those apply for how I feel about the potential move to Africa for two years and possibly even longer than that if God leads that way.

Let's first clearly establish that the longest I have been overseas is four weeks. During that time I had [all things considered] good access to internet and therefore my support system. I also had running water and electricity except for a few minor incidents.

Last month, some friends and I watched "Machine Gun Preacher". This is a movie based on the true story of Sam Childers. Sam had a past filled with violence and drugs. With influence from his wife, he came back to the church. Sam started to prosper as a construction worker and eventually found himself volunteering in South Sudan rebuilding what had been destroyed in the war. God led him to build an orphanage to provide for children that were so greatly affected by the fighting. I have not done enough research to know how accurate the move is compared to Sam's biography. However, I do believe that the movie gives a glimpse into a few aspects of mission work.

1. What about people here?
In the movie, Sam's friends and family (especially his daughter) have a hard time understanding how he can be so moved for a country, culture, and people he has never met. Sam's best friend struggles greatly. Rarely people ask me this but often I think I can see the question in their eyes. The only answer I have to offer is that God calls everyone for different purposes. I believe mine is in Africa and so far God is opening doors that confirm this. I will do my best to serve locally when I can and people that are called for local service will do their best to serve those that are overseas. Think of it as that one hobby (collecting stamps) or movie series (LOTR) or other strange thing that your spouse or best friend just doesn't like. It just does not make sense but you work through it, support them, and participate when and how you can.

2. It is not all fun and games.
The movie depicts this awful, horrendous scene that ends with the death of a group of children. I could barely watch. I knew it was coming and kept closing my eyes and opening to check and see if it was over. I won't even keep going because it is making me shudder with emotion just thinking about it. Various missionaries write books, have blogs, and get movies made about them. All too often people only see the part where they hold little kids or build a great building or delivery water to a village. But in between those moments, malnourished people are suffering, poverty stricken people ask for help everyday, locals get irritated at the foreigners trying to blend into the culture, and so much more. Going overseas for mission work is not always fun.

3. Home will be missed.
Home away from home is a popular saying for people that get their hearts torn between two places. I think this is true for most overseas missionaries. There will always be a home in the first world culture surrounded by family, friends, home church, and the countless amenities that are implied by that classification. There will also always be a home on the other side of the ocean. Once you are called and recognize that calling, the heart gets split in two. You long to be with the new culture. You long to be always helping and it feels like you are living in disobedience when you are not. Yet, in the middle of all of it when you are living God's will, things will be missed at home. In the movie, Sam constantly watches a video of his daughter in a play when he is in South Sudan. You will not make it to weddings and births, recitals and plays, holidays and parties. In my opinion, the truth is that we really do want to be there. Just because we are called away from our first home does not mean that we don't desire to be part of the ups and downs that happen.

As I anticipate what changes may come…these three concepts continue to rattle around in my brain. Looking back to the definition, maybe this can help me be aware and take action. At the same time, I will definitely be looking forward to the adventures that 2014 will bring.

Looking to the Future

Stop and smell the roses
Enjoy the season
Slow down
Sieze the day
Go for it now
Wake up and live
Live for today
Cherish the moment


All of those phrases mean roughly the same thing. I interpret the meaning of all of it to be the following: tomorrow may have some awesome things to look forward to or some unwanted stressors but that is tomorrow and today will only happen once, so make the best of it.

This concept is becoming more and more important to me. Don't get me wrong. The importance of it does not mean it is easier to put into action. I still have my moments when I am can't focus on anything for the day because my brain is completely consumed with tomorrow or next week or even things next year. In those moments, I try to turn my thoughts to prayer and pray for what I'm looking forward to in the future. I have two main things to share with you.

Visiting Orphans has graciously trained me and allowed me to partner with them. I will be leading a trip through their organization July 10, 2014. We will be going to Rwanda and Ethiopia. The trip is posted HERE!!! Actually, I checked earlier and I should be getting on the international flight in 290 days. Things are in full swing for this trip, well.....as far as the winds will push the swing right now. Personally, I am already fund raising and mentally planning for the trip. I am beyond excited to take my experience from the past four trips I have had with VO and use that to lead a group of people through a life changing experience.

Prayer Requests:
future team members will have open hearts and be willing to GO when God calls
fundraising will continue to progress for me and for members as they sign up
God will blend our team together in unity from the very beginning




Africa Inland Mission is an organization I learned about in the airport in Ethiopia as I was just beginning my journey in March of this year. Sometimes, I begin to think that I was on that trip so that I could be placed in the right moment, by the right person, at the right time to learn about AIM. (Although, I know that many other great things happened on that trip.) AIM's mission is to have Christ-centered churches among all African peoples. AIM's priority is Africa's unreached people. I encourage you to learn about them and the impact they are having.

I have started the application process to be part of a two year program that they call TIMO. This is a two year team outreach program designed to equip new missionaries for ministry and to reach Africa's least reached peoples with the gospel. I am unable to put my excitement into words for this opportunity.
A few quick things:
1. I don't know exactly where I'll go. This is the one thing I have absolute peace about. The team I'm on may not even be thought of yet. The team I'll join may be full and someone will have to withdraw in the later stages. I really have no idea. I do know that God has a place for me with AIM and He will make sure that I get there. [However, I would absolutely LOVE to land in Rwanda!!!]
2. I also am not sure what I will do....not even in a roundabout sort of way. I have expressed my desire to work with children or in a women's ministry. AIM is also aware of my experience in the medical world. God will ensure that this gets worked out also!!! Of this I am sure!!!

Prayer Requests:
for God's timing to happen with the application progress of AIM
for His will to come to fruition for #1 and #2 above
I'd also like to ask you to pray for whatever you feel led, whatever is on your heart. There are so so very many aspects of going into full time ministry. Some of them, maybe most of them, I don't even know about. Please pray about this opportunity I have as you are led by the Spirit.



Meanwhile, I'll be trying to smell as many roses as I can. I know in my heart that this is God's plan for me but I know this will not be easy.

One day at a time
One hour at a time
One moment at a time
I will try to my best to cherish them all!!!!

The Girl that went to Africa

Impacting the world is a grand task. Although, how does one know if he or she truly impacted the world? I suppose the inventor of the wheel can rest in peace knowing that the world has been forever changed. The same probably holds true for the inventors of electricity, automobiles, planes, air conditioning, Netflix, Facebook, skydiving, batteries, and the list could go on and on.

What if we take it down a few notches? Is it possible to impact the life of one person? Would it then be possible to know with certainty that this happened. I often get flabbergasted at the number of people that I have crossed paths with in my life. I suppose it is possible to live in a small town of a few hundred people for one's entire life. Go to a community college or progress through the job ladder straight out of high school. Marry. Kids. A dog, of course. Possibly a special vacation or two. Kids graduate from the same high school. And so on. That person might come into contact with a few thousand people in his or her life.

Moving, at any point in life, is hard, stressful, and most importantly life changing. I've lived in four states and a few more cities than that. I've traveled to two other continents. I've played on seemingly countless sports teams. I've worked in customer service. The people I've meet are beyond measurable using Earthly means.

The number of people I have met through any sliver of my life amazes me often. The more I think about it, the more I think that Six Degrees of Separation is true. But I have no idea if I had any impact on those people. I have no idea if we had a meaningful conversation or if I just brushed by them on a bus. Maybe I never talked to them in class or never said hi from across the aisle at church.

[keep reading...this will all circle around and make sense eventually]

Laughter has happened with so many dear friends. Smiles have been exchanged with orphaned children in foreign countries. Sporting events have been won. Little notes at random times have been left to be found by someone deserving it. Pizza has been purchased and delivered at the end of weeks that were less than ideal. Finances have been shared when the receiver wasn't always willing to receive.

I would like to think that most of these things had an impact. It may have been short lived and only cured a need for an hour or a week or a month. Possibly, it lasted longer. Not to sound too egotistical, but, I'm fairly certain I have a few friends that will [hopefully] always remember me. I may have done more impacting than I have any idea about. Often, I still wonder. I wonder if I helped that person. I wonder if I left a smile on their face. I wonder if they even really heard whatever I had to say.

A few months ago at a yard sale for a friend going on a Visiting Orphans trip to India, it happened. God blessed me with confirmation that I had truly impacted someone and it warmed my heart. It was a slow part of the day. A lady had come and walked around everything. Everything is important because when we have fundraiser yard sales, we really have a yard sale. I still get surprised at how much stuff gets donated. She walked down the hill of a driveway we have and crossed the street to her car. I stood there, talking to my friend. We slowly noticed that the lady wasn't leaving. I distinctly remember commenting about what could she be considering purchasing that much to stand there for so long. Then, we made eye contact and the situation really became weird! We locked in for probably 2 or 3 seconds that felt like 2 or 3 minutes. I unexpectedly started walking down toward her. She walked back toward the sale. Then the words come straight from her, the words that I will never forget. A smile full of curiosity and gladness spread from ear to ear as she excitedly yelled, "Are you the girl that went to Africa?" My heart leaped! I know lots of girls that went to Africa but sure enough I am "the girl" that she was asking about. She had been to one of my yard sales and recognized me. We talked about my trips and she mentioned her trip. That's right! Because our paths had previously crossed, the road on the future had altered. God, of course, knew where we were going but we didn't expect it. This lady told me that I had planted a seed in her and it grew over the last few months. Now that it is blooming, she is going on a trip to Africa with her church. It was so exhilarating to have been blessed with this follow up of crossed paths.

Two things I would like you to consider:
1. What are you doing to impact each and every person that crosses your path?
2. When was the last time that you shared with someone how much he or she has impacted you?


Here are two stories of how people are leaving a lasting impact in moments that could have had completely different endings:
Young DQ manager amazes customers
Drive thru customer with unexpected response

News Flash - - - Prayer is IMPORTANT

Shocking news, isn't it?
Well, maybe not.
For me, sometimes it does seem that way.


Ever since I was young, I have struggled with prayer. I can even remember writing a letter to my pastor at the time and asking why should we pray? In a previous discussion with him, we had established that there is a plan for everyone. [Note: I don't want to start a debate about predestination here.] My thinking was that if He already knows everything that will happen and when, why should we bother asking Him to alter those plans in one way or another. I have since learned through more than one lesson that prayer is more than that.

I can think of four instances within the last couple of weeks where I saw almost immediate results from prayer. Results doesn't seem like the best word but lets use it anyway.

1. A family member of a co-worker was interview for a new (highly desired) job. She asked me to pray for him to get it because she felt God heard my prayers a little bit more than hers. [That ignited quite another thought process for me.] The guy was offered the job and all of us rejoiced.

2. I have had a minor medical issue going on since April. I have seen direct effects of the prayers of my friends and families throughout this process.

3. Children with unexplainable high fevers one day seemed almost perfectly healthy the next day. I guarantee you that prayer was a huge factor in their quick recovery.

4. A false sense of irritation between a couple seemed to vanish after pray for the situation.

If such minor things are so important that they warrant prayer, then how come we aren't praying for the bigger things in life, in God's Kingdom? We have been given a Great Commission and it is the responsibility of everyone!!

Some may be sent.
Some may be organizers.
Some may raise funds.
Some may build structures.
Some may fly the planes.
Some may translate.

But....everyone, EVERYONE is to PRAY.

Jason Mandryk states it quite nicely in his article titled "The State of the Gospel."

"We can strategize, harmonize, dialogue and worship---we can equip ourselves with the best financial resources and the most astute missiology available---but without prayer, we will not see spiritual strongholds broken down, nor the unevangelized peoples experiencing the gospel. The state of the gospel changes by prayer."

Bucket List

Classic, yes I know.
But it's been on my mind and I think it is an interesting way to track goals. It may also be interesting to see how they change over time. Will they be more relational, career oriented, free spirited, or make no sense at all?

Let's start with some things that I have done that are definitely bucket list worth.
1. skydiving [July 20, 2013, Waverly, TN]
2. white water rafting [Colorado, class III; Alaska, class V]
3. hike through a bamboo forest [May 2008 with my mom]
4. swim with a dolphin
5. hike the Grand Canyon, well....part of it[April 2001; 8th grade class trip]

Now for some things that are yet to be completed. My plan for this list is to see what I can come up with on my own over the next few weeks. Then, I might look at other bucket lists and steal some ideas. Also, I plan to add to it and note when goals are added as well as when anything is accomplished.

1. get married
2. be a mom (not necessarily biologically, could be through adoption or just role model/influence)
3. skydive....at least one more time
4. run a 5K
5. run a 10K.....maybe
6. photos taken on railroad tracks
7. move to Africa
8. love unconditionally
9. go to Niagara Falls
10. go on a trip by train....even if its just one way
11. go to a comedy show (preferably Jim Gaffigan, Jeanne Robertson, or Brian Regan)
12. ride the tallest swing ride (currently at Six Flags over Texas in Arlington stands at 400ft and 35 mph)
13. go to Redwood National/State Park in California
14. see a giraffe in its natural habitat
15. see the Northern Lights
16. ride a horse at top speed (or at close as safely possible)
17. change someone's life by teaching them something
18. laugh until I cry....over and over and over
19. love someone that has never experienced love
20. ride a hot air balloon
21. repeat 20 at sunset
22. ride a horse on the beach
23. have a joyful life
24. spread joy to others around me
25. go to a circus
26. go to a drive-in movie
27. road trip on Route 66

Weekend Motherhood

A Short Story about Weekend Motherhood:

Excitement of the weekend grows from Monday morning until Friday afternoon. Each day of the week passes and the anticipation grows. Every American family looks forward to the weekend! Even if someone has to work for part of it, the stigma of the words Saturday and Sunday bring joy. Some weeks the clock ticks away slower than a snail crossing a 6 lane interstate. Other weeks, the hours fly by faster than free fall while skydiving.

The dad is busy at work. Each day it gets harder and harder to get up and tackle the day. Some days he leaves earlier than the sun rises to meet friends for coffee. The work wears on him but he continually reminds himself of his sweet daughters and beautiful wife to power him through the day. He is tired at the end of each day and longs for the weekend when he may be rejuvenated by the precious moments he will have with his family.

The mom is always going to the next thing while soaking up what the day offers. Everyday she feels she must accomplish something. She has her lists both physical and mental and tackles them from every angle. She assures that appointments are kept. She run errands from one side of town to the other. She always has her eyes open for ways to teach her kids.

The kids are two girls. The are curious, happy, sweet, smart, and full of endless potential. They love to help their mom. They are always ready to greet their dad with hugs and kisses when he returns home from work. The may not always play nicely together but they always love each other. The will be there for each other at every mile stone, tear, and celebration.

Finally, it happens. The clock strikes 5:00 p.m. on Friday. The work week is over. The dad returns home. He is greeted by his precious daughters and loving wife. Hugs and kisses are shared between everyone. Peace comes upon the home as the family is all together. Even the family dog seems to know it is the weekend and great things will happen.

Saturday morning comes and the dad meets friends for coffee and fellowship. The mom has a few hours with her sweet girls. There is nothing officially planned but she secretly hopes to mark a few things off her lists so that the family can make memories together later that day. Unfortunately, she is forced to alter her plans because one of her daughters is not feeling well. She handles the situation with ease. Sometimes the best medicine is some sweet snuggles with mom and that is what this child had on her prescription. The mom spends her day not only caring for the sick child but also doing everything she can to help prevent the dad and others from getting sick. All the while, she is in the front lines caring for her daughter. By the end of the day the child seems to be improving. Although, her sister is now not quite up to par.

At bedtime, the mother just can't leave the child's side. She sits. She waits. She prays. She longs for her sick children to be better. Something holds her back and she cannot go to bed. She stays at the child's side. Eventually she lays down her head and continues the waiting. It is as if she forms a protective barrier around her daughter, laying in such a way that she almost surrounds her. The previously restless child becomes settled and calms down in her sleep. But the mom stays.

The mom, like any other, wants nothing more than to have her child be consumed with healing, peace, and comfort. She is not worried that she has not run errands today. She is not worried that there are dirty dishes. She is not consumed with the yard work that needs done. Her thoughts are not concerned with the upcoming week. The mom simply wants her child to be free from sickness. She lays her on daughters bed at her side through the night. No matter the situation she stays and is ready to move a mountain or empty an ocean if that's what her daughters need. The mom is always there with unconditional love.

(Based on a true story.)


Reading this story, I felt like I saw something. I saw the endless devotion of a mom. I saw how far a mom's love can reach. I have seen an 8 year old go on a church trip with her father and on the return trip have a steady flow of tears in anticipation of seeing her mom. I have seen moms petition for the safety of their kids after a horrible accident in an elementary P.E. class. I have seen a mom close her eyes and soak up the moment when her child runs to her just to be in her arms and hug her. I have seen many glorious mom moments. However, there was something about this story. I saw something else and I don't know how to describe it. But because of it, I can now say with confidence that I will be adding something to my bucket list.  Now, one of the most important things on my bucket list is to be a mom.

Blessed

Some time ago I had a very short lived patch of frustrating days. At some point towards the end of this, God led me to realize how truly blessed I am. I've challenged myself to come up with 100 ways of why I am blessed. A mental list is all that I have made thus far, but I've decided to really put it together.

I am beyond blessed because I [have]:

1. a roof over my head every night
2. more than enough food to keep me happy
3. clothes of variety to choose from
4. a soft pillow to lay my head on
5. blankets to keep me warm
6. a car that is mine
7. the ability to put fuel in the car
8. a computer that connects me to endless people and allows me to share this with you
9. locks on doors to keep me safe
10. a Mom that loves me unconditionally to no end
11. the most wonderfulest brother a girl could ask for
12. the ability to worship my Savior without fearing for my life
13. been born in a country full of freedoms
14. traveled to Alaska.....six times
15. traveled to China with a great friend
16. traveled to China with my brother
17. traveled to China by myself
18. traveled to China with the bestest roommate ever
19. traveled to Africa with a wonderful friend
20. traveled to Africa and made life long friends
21. traveled to Africa and made more life long friends
22. gone to Rwanda for a month and saw God do big things
23. been white water rafting in Colorado
24. been white water rafting in Alaska on Class V rapids
25. been ice climbing in Alaska
26. built snow igloos in my grandparents' back yard....more than once
27. held orphans in my arms and told them God loves them
28. a trampoline in the backyard that I LOVE to jump on
29. Gwen and she cooks so so amazingly
30. Gwen and she always makes sure there is something I can eat
31. swam with a dolphin
32. been in an airplane
33. traveled to Hawaii
34. kayaked in the Pacific Ocean
35. swam in the Gulf of Mexico
36. taken a ride on a train
37. gone to many a Cardinals game
38. Ruth to watch do crazy things
39. Elizabeth to always make me smile
40. CLC
41. a Life Group that prays for me
42. a church family that supports the desires of my heart
43. another church family that barely knows me and still supports me
44. a phone that connects me to friends and family
45. a town that has free entertainment (i.e. movies in the park)
46. health insurance
47. dental insurance
48. car insurance
49. running water
50. electricity
51 internet access
52. a comfy couch to sit on and relax with friends
53. socks to keep my toes warm
54. shoes to protect my feet
55. an employer that let me leave for a month
56. co workers that are wonderful to work with
57. a high school diploma
58. two college degrees
59. enough hair to spare for other people
60. been skiing in Colorado
61. been skiing in Iowa
62. a cousin that will drag me on a tube behind the snow mobile
63. a friend with an amazing family that lets me come on vacation with them
64. played softball
65. played lacrosse
66. swam on a team
67. played basketball
68. a body that lets me be active and explore the world
69. a roommate that can read me like a book
70. had teachers that care about me
71. a teacher that let me take a test late just because I was going through a busy time
72. had coaches that taught me more than sport related skills
73. was on the winning team of an eighth grade rival basketball game
74. friends I can call any time of day
75. friends that will help me without asking why
76. great strong teeth
77. never had a cavity
78. never broken a bone
79. had very little experience with death (only been to two funerals)
80. never had to miss a meal
81. never been in danger because of my faith
82. never been sick more than the common unpleasantness
83. countless photos to help me recall wonderful moments
84. a pretty good memory
85. seen TSO in concert
86. been to City Museum
87. been to the beach (many of them)
88. never had to be in the hospital for illness
89. had the pleasure of having a canine companion
90. lived in the country
91. walked home because the van was stuck in snow (it was quite the adventure)
92. friends that trust me with their home when they are away
93. a brother that spoils me when I visit
94. popcorn to eat
95. can read
96. can write
97. can count
98. can type (without looking)
99. can write backwards
100. a God that sent His son to die for my sins and wants to have a relationship with me for eternity
101. a friend that helps me out when I'm over commited
102. friends that understand when I have to say no and take a break
103. extra pillows in the house that are easy to throw

Where is the line?

Balancing is an act that seems to get applied to more and more aspects of life.


There is a need to balance:
sleep and wake time
fun and work
healthy and less healthy food
warm and cold
so much more

and recently a need to balance giving and more giving. What? How can you balance something and more of something? That doesn't make any sense! Let me try to explain...

In recent months, actually about two years, I have come across countless organizations and causes that I 100% love and want to support. Adoption fundraisers are popping up faster than spring flowers. More mission trips are going out than I can count. Children in foreign countries need to get sponsored and sent to school. Local neighbors and friends are struggling to meet basic financial needs.

Organizations are raising money for beds, mosquito nets, water, and countless other things that I take for granted. The men, women, and children that receive these things are only different from me in one way. Yes, there is only one thing that separates us. Do you have any idea what this one thing is? The one thing that makes me different from the kids that sleep on a concrete floor, the parents that make their children beg so there is money to get food, the families that fear illness because of mosquitos is the country in which we were born. Think about it! Any one of us could just as easily been born into a family that lives in a trash dump or begs for food. I don't know about you but this is pretty mind blowing to me.

To bring that rabbit trail back to the main path, I would like to say that my heart is burdened for these people. I have meet a family and been in their home that is at the trash dump. I have played with and daily think of kids that live in orphanages and hope to have a future other than living on the streets. My heart is heavy for these people that are the sons and daughters of Christ. I long for them to know their Heavenly Father and I long for them to have the essentials needed to thrive in their culture. They don't need cable, electronic gadgets, big houses, and closets full of stuff. They do need shelter, water, food, and safety, both physically and spiritually.

This is where the question is proposed. Where is the line? When do you draw the line and say that you can't help any more people? When do you say I have helped enough and now I need to save a little so that I may have such things also? If people gives literally 100% of their income, then how are they going to provide for themselves?

Today, I was blessed to give a gift to someone. It was not her birthday. It is not Christmas, nor is it Christmas in July. I just really wanted to give something to her. Focus on the middle part of the previous sentence: really wanted to give. What if everyone had that attitude? What if everyone really wanted to give? If everyone gave, would everyone receive?

Admittedly, I could not give 100%. My earthly ways and desires do not allow me to honestly believe that I would be provided with everything I truly need. So, where do I draw the line? When do I say, I can only help this, this, and this right now? When is it ok to say no to giving? Isn't giving much more enjoyable than receiving? I believe it is!!!! But there has to be a limit! So how do I balance giving with more giving?

Where do you draw your line? How do you decide when the giving needs to end?

Swallowed by the First World

Demands and desires of the first world seem to have swallowed me whole. I am ashamed to admit this. But I confess to you that I am the one to blame and it is embarrassing how often I let it happen. It amazes me how easily this happens. I can honestly say that no one nor no thing is at fault except for me.

I also admit that my heart desires the Lord. My heart wants to know Him personally and deeply. These desires have grown significantly in the recent months. However, it seems the first world demands and desires have also.

Things I desire and wish I was doing:
read the Bible everyday
pray everyday (and not just at meals or while driving) actually PRAY
learn about my Savior
worship the Lord
work toward long term missionary work.....in Africa

Things of the first world that I have allowed to consume me:
sleep
job
entertainment (movie, tv, books)
unnecessary stress about medical things
unnecessary stress about earthly things
time with others [a tough one because isolation is unrealistic but at times I feel like I should be doing things from the first list instead of spending time hanging out with friends]
DIY projects....mostly started and not finished which makes it that much more frustrating
internet
and so much more

I confess to each person that reads this that although my heart desires the first list, my actions work toward the second. Maybe I simply have poor time management. Maybe the enemy is subtly attacking me through this situation. Whatever the explanation, I feel like I have failed myself. I feel like the demands and desires of the first world have swallowed me whole and the gastric juices are eating away at me from every direction. Each moment goes by and the feeling of defeat increases causing the desires of my heart to fade away. Life group and corporate worship through CLC give me glimpses at what my heart wants and remind me that it is attainable.

I have thoughts I want to share with you.....blogs drafts that are started.....yet I can't seem to find the time to finish them. However, I can finish watching a movie or finishing wasting time on the internet. I think to myself that each night I will finish a post this week. Weeks later, you and I both know that never happened. What actually happened? I researched things on the internet. I hung out with friends. I watched a movie. I day dreamed in state of wondering and worry about possibilities.

At my life group this past week, we rabbit trailed off to a discussion about the power of prayer. I have heard/read statistics about prayer healing people in hospitals when the patients didn't even know they were being prayed for. I've heard first hand testimony about how one friend's prayer for a specific family member to come to know Christ was blown to pieces as much of her family came to know their Lord and Savior. I share all of this with you to ultimate ask you to join me in prayer.

Please pray [let's pause here]
By pray, I mean anything from a 10 second prayer after you read this post to an hourly prayer for any number of days to anything in between. Prayer is a powerful, POWERFUL tool!!! Use it is little or as much as you choose. So....

Please pray for not just my situation by all of those that are swallowed by the first world. Please pray that we may win small battles over the first world demands and desires. Please pray that these small battles lead to large victories and the true desires of our hearts may come to fruition.

He is in the Small Things

Really, I mean it! He is in the small things. God is in the smallest things in our lives. Did you know that? I know it, but often forget this awesome fact about our glorious God. Ironically, seeing God in the small things is what led me to make the original decision to go to Africa the first time in 2011. You can read a little bit about that here. Twice in the last two weeks, God has shown me how He continually has His hand in the seemingly smallest meaningless things.

About two weeks ago, I decided I wanted to start a new reading plan for the Bible. I know I will benefit more from this study if I take notes while reading and journal about what I'm learning. Thus, I get to buy a new notebook! Yeah for new notebooks!!! I have discovered a specific notebook that I really like for a few reasons. It comes from the Dollar General and it costs $2.50. During lunch break on a Wednesday, I asked my coworkers if they knew of a dollar store nearby. I was trying to figure out the best option to stop at one without veering off the path home. At the same time I really really didn't want to stop at the store for just one item. Literally less than one minute after asking, my other coworker that left for lunch texted and asked if any of us needed anything from the dollar store. I was floored at how that came together. She was able to get the exact notebook I wanted and all was well!

This past week a representative from an office store came to my work. She brought us some free samples of various office [a.k.a. school] supplies. That afternoon my coworkers and I were showing our nerdness and looking through all of it. I told them how the look, feel, and even smell of the new supplies almost makes me want to go to school again. It was then highly suggested that I use the income from my current job to buy some school supplies and pretend I'm in school instead of actually enrolling in school and paying money. Well.....that night I was talking to my representative from Africa Inland Mission. It turns out there are some classes that are highly recommended to take so that I can meet some competencies for AIM. Once again, God had his hand all over some silly small aspect of my life. I was and still am so excited.

1. want a new notebook for a reading plan........God provided it moments later without me having to go get it
2. get excited about new school supplies...........God provides a reason for me to take classes and therefore get some school supplies

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE these simple small reminders that God has His hands all over every aspect of our lives. If He cares about a simple notebook and school supplies, then I KNOW He cares about the big important things.

Have you seen God in the small things in your life recently?
If you think about it and look for His handy work, then I bet you will see it.

The Joy of Returning

Arguments exist for and against short term mission trips. At times I can see the both sides. However, without these short term trips the world would be a different place:
-high school and college students would not have a [positive] life changing spring break
-orphans would have not been privy to the feeling of love
-roofs would not be built
-walls would not be painted and ramps would not exist
-VBS would not bring joy to remote villages
-countless lives of potential team members would remain unchanged with eyes sheltered to seeing the truth that lies beyond the spoiled, sheltered lives of first world living

One aspect of short term trips that the opportunity for returning is available. When I went to Africa for the first time in August 2011, I knew I was leaving a huge part of my heart there but had no idea what was in store for me in the coming months and years. I was extremely blessed to return in December 2011, December 2012, and March 2013.

On the second trip I was beyond excited to see the faces of these beautiful kids again. However,  I had no idea they would be excited also. Try to imagine growing up in an orphanage. You have never known your parents. The only consistent people in your life are the couple of dozen kids you share a room with at the orphanage. There is very little you can depend on with certainty. You may not even know about the concept of love. Then, one day, this group of foreigners shows up and continually talks about how much they love you and how God loves you. They hold your hand, hug you, serve you a meal, walk with you, and love you without even speaking the same language. You don't know how to react except to never leave their side. You want more of this thing called love. But after a couple days, they foreigners have to leave. It is sad but in the end, the love, happiness, and joy they brought is priceless. Life goes back to the way things were until one day the same person that traveled all the way around the world to share love has returned! WHAT?!? You never could have imagined this would have happened. But it did! You better believe it! You get to be held. You get to experience love and you are so thrilled.

On our first day at Noel Orphanage in Rwanda in December 2011, my bus was the first of two to arrive. No one else on my bus had been there before. For some unknown reason, I was sitting at the back. Our leader had told us the kids may be cautious at first but once they figure out who we are they will swarm us from all directions. We pulled in the gate and couldn't seem to wave fast enough or to smile wide enough at all the kids. Some older boys were standing in the background, until the moment that my eyes met theirs. They knew me and I knew them. Word quickly spread that we were a team with Visiting Orphans. I began to physically start shaking with excitement and anticipation to be able to embrace these beautiful kids in my arms again. My gracious team members stayed in their seats and let me be the first one off the bus.

Words cannot express the joy that radiates from both the kids and the returning team member every time this happens. I want to give you a glimpse of it by sharing a photo of my boy, CouCou, that I love so dearly. I see him every time I go to Noel Orphanage.

August 2011

I had hurt my back on this trip. He sat with me all day. We had many tickle sessions. Most of the time he just wanted to sit in my lap and hold my hand.

December 2011

Initially he took some time to come over to me. However, I watched him and I saw the wheels turning as he processed where he saw this white girl before. Then, the light bulb came on brighter than ever before and he came running to me. He never left my side, although he was on my shoulders most of the time.

January 2013

There was no delay this time. He remembered me from the first moment. The other kids know me now and always make sure to get CouCou for me whenever I come.

March 2013

He seemed to be in a state of disbelief that I had returned so quickly. He has grown so much since we first met! I think we will need to start a new photo tradition as he may be too big for my shoulders next time we meet. Now, he shows off for me by hopping on one foot or just being a silly adorable kid. The last day I went to visit him, I had an older kid explain that I would be leaving the next day. CouCou just grasped onto my leg as he laid across my lap and didn't let go. 

This is not intended to be a plug for short term trips or a plug for people to make multiple trips. I just want to share a little about how meaningful it has been for me and for one little boy to be able to spend a day or two together and love across a cultural and language barrier. As painful as the goodbyes will be each time, I would rather have that than have these kids not experience love.

Rwanda 2013 week 4

Written April 21, 2013

It is with a heavy heart that I write you one last update of my most recent week in Africa. For I know that it was not my final week. I will return. the mission is not over, children still need love; widows need hope; and the Gospel must be shared.

The week was like none other. It was different in many ways and I will forever treasure the experiences as a leader, as part of a medical team, and one of God's disciples.

Last Saturday, I met with the team in Kigali. We had our first clinic that afternoon at Catch Up. On Sunday we were able to have church with the kids. These kids have never had medical attention. They had anything from a runny nose to dental issues to worms causing GI problems. The latter of which could be fixed by one medicine taken twice a day for three days and they would be set for 6 months.

Monday we served at Kimisagra. It is probably the poorest orphanage in the country of Rwanda. It is located literally on the side of a hill and is landlocked allowing for an outside area of about one third of basketball court....or maybe less. When we arrived they were eating lunch. It was rice and some beans. It was heartbreaking to see them eat with their hands. We were able to buy some spoons that afternoon for them. Silverware....just one of many things that is taken for granted. We set up clinic that afternoon and were able tos ee kids that had new issues. There was a team there last fall and so we were able to see their charts and check on kids that needed follow up.

Tuesday was our travel day. We had a "3 hour" bus ride from Kigali to Gisenyi. A first I had on this trip was that our bus broke down shortly after leaving. We were blessed with a beautiful day of weather for our 90 min wait on the side of the road for the mechanic to come. He showed up with a bottle of water, a screwdriver, and pliers. But he got the job done and we were on our way. We had a relaxing afternoon at Noel orphanage and took the time to simply love the kids. We would return on Thursday to have clinic for the new kids that have been dropped off at Noel (including a set of twin boys only two weeks old) and to spend another afternoon hanging out with the kids.

On Wednesday we saw the ladies and their children that work at No. 41 and in the afternoon the guys of His Imbaraga brought their families to the clinic. It was amazing to see how the clinic was intended for them but they insisted that their families (to include grandparents) were seen first. If I remember correctly, the first patient was saw was in his 90's. I encourage you to check out these ministries and how they are changing lives.

Friday we left Gisenyi early in the morning to start the 40+ hour journey back to our American families. I am confident that countless lives were changed from our week in Rwanda. I believe this includes the team, the kids we saw, the patients we treated, and even the street kids that were seemingly filled with joy with a simple wave and a friendly smile from a white person.

Confidently, I can tell you that the trip may be over but I believe God is about to begin a new journey larger than my wildest dreams. I look forward to seeing it unfold and sharing with you what He does.

Rwanda 2013 week 3

Written on April 14, 2013

The third week here has continued to be as amazing and grand as the first two.

I spent more time at the orphanage this week. It is so great to sit there and hold a young child or play with some or even have a broken English conversation with an older child. All they really want is attention and to know that they are important. Some kids just need a good tickle session and I am more than willing to provide that. One of the things that breaks my heart the most is when a kid is content just to hold your hand. Of all they things they could want or ask for, their heart just desires some human contact.

I did make a solo bus trip to Kigali one day. It made for a very long day but it was a nice little mini adventure within itself. I was able to go to an orphanage and just spend some time in the city. At the orphanage, I was strangely excited to help one of the kids with their math work. Yes I am a nerd.

The team arrived on Friday and I met up with them on Saturday. We had our first clinic that afternoon and continued at the same orphanage today. In total we were able to see 107 patients. (mostly kids but we helped some of the adults that run the orphanage also) We also had church at the orphanage this morning. It is mind blowing every time to see how freely they worship. They are completely consumed with the spirit and let it shine out of them. To see how little thy have and see how much joy that can come from these kids is an amazing sight!!!!

WE will go to another orphanage in Kigali tomorrow and then Tuesday will be a travel day as we have the three hours bus ride to a western part of the country.

Thank you once again for all of your prayers!!!
The next update might be sent from Washington D.C. next weekend.
I look forward to sharing with you live and in person and with the help of many many many photos.

Serving and Learning in Rwanda,
Katherine

Rwanda 2013 week 2

Written April 6, 2013

It is Saturday afternoon as i write this and it has been a beautiful day. Although, if I tell you that, a downpour thunderstorm might start any moment because that is just how things seem to work here in the rainy season. [edit: after lunch I switched locations and there has since been consistent thunder in the distance and there was a heavy sprinkle as I walked over here]

It has been a relaxing day which I think is a good thing after a week at the clinic. The rest of the team gets here on Friday and I will meet them Saturday in Kigali. This upcoming week is still a little unknown. I will probably be spending time at the orphanage and helping my friend with the organization she started. It is called "His Imbaraga". it is a ministry to teach guys how to make products out of leather. I encourage you to find them through the pages I have liked on my Facebook.

Every day this past week I went to volunteer at a nearby clinic. I suppose "nearby" is relative. Sometimes I took the bus and other times I walked to where I met the other volunteer and our translator. It was a 40 minute walk to where we met and then another 30 minutes to the clinic.

There was surprising set up when we arrived. There was a building designated for maternity purposes. ALthough, it was a room for check ups, a room for those in labor, a room to actually give birth, and a room for mom and baby. The rooms were in that order. So after the last room they walked out the door and that was that.

There was another building that had a room for females, males, and children. It was "inpatient". Although it didn't seem to get used much.

We were in yet another building that had a couple of rooms to see patients. The waiting area was the area outside. The actual treatment that was provided was even more minimal and primitive than I expected. Basically we cleaned wounds with a vinegar/water mixture or just with water and put a new bandage on it. To anyone that is in the medical field, it was the strangest attempt at sterile procedure when it really wasn't possible.

It was still a very humbling experience. The patients were a variety of ages. Some simply had a s sore throat that wasn't healing, others had stitches that needed to come out, and yet others had unique issues. Some were unimaginably tough as their wound was cleaned. However, one kid that needed stitches out was not so tough. We had to stop half way and just let him calm down outside while we halped a few others. Then we tried to do a sneak attack to get the last few out. It didn't work so well, but in the end he was stitch free.

Some people would come but they wouldn't have the money (about the equivalent of 50 cents USD). Sowe would slip them some money so they could be seen and treated.

The walk to the clinic was a unique experience of its own. It was a gravel/dirt/rock "road" of sorts. But along both sides were homes of locals. It was so great to see the excitement of the kids as they saw us walk in and out each day. They seemed to think we were celebrities as they screamed and shouted at us twice each day. Some would come running arms stretched as far as they could be, tackle our legs, and run off after a satisfactory hug was given. Other children wanted a high five, and some were satisfied with a wave and a smile as we kept walking.

I spent the afternoons relaxing, visiting kids at the orphanage, or reading. Thursday afternoon I walked to the market and another store. It was an adventure and I am not just saying that because it was uphill to get there. I have decided that Ig et more stares being a solo white person than I do if I am traveling with a team.

All in all, it was a great week!!!

One more week is all I have to serve and love the country and people of Rwanda on my own schedule. on Friday the team arrives and I will be meeting them Saturday for lunch followed by our first clinic at an orphanage. However, this week will be the first week of memorials and meetings about the Genocide that forever changed this country in 1994. Rwandans will be required to go to memorials and meetings to remember, talk about, and learn from what happened. I too will be attending some to remember what happened.

Serving and Loving in Rwanda,
Katherine

Rwanda 2013 week 1

I recently returned from one month in Rwanda. I've decided to post the weekly email updates that I sent out during this time. The following was written on Sunday March 31. it is about the previous week (my first week in Rwanda).

"Saturday was kind of a slow day mostly due to rain but also due to the fact that I was tired and just wanted some time to chill for a bit. I spent some of this chill time in Matthew 10. This was eye opening and wonderful to read about. My Bible titles this chapter 'Instructions to the Disciples and Sheep Among Wolves'. I've actually decided to leave it at that. I encourage you to read it and spend some time there. I'm sure all of you will hear me share about the trip at some point (personally or in front of a group) so I'll share more details then.

I was able to volunteer at a clinic this week and plan to continue to do so until the rest of the team arrives. Although, I won't go everyday, I'm excited about the time there and look forward to this opportunity. As much as I tried to prepare myself, it was definitely more primitive than I expected! There was a girl....maybe 8-10 years old with a sore on her shin that needed cleaned and a new bandage. As the other volunteer was doing this, I tried to hold the girl's hands and comfort her. I think that most people enjoy both the human contact and the ability to grip something when experiencing pain. However, this girl didn't seem to have experience with this concept. It was like she never had anyone hold her hand before. She let go of my hand and gripped the chair for dear life. So I tried to console her in another way. But it was still heartbreaking that she almost seemed incapable of receiving consolation while she was in this physical pain. I can only imagine how she deals with emotional pain.

God has very much instilled in me a desire to spread the word this week. I find this very odd because I've never thought of myself as the type to approach someone and share the Gospel. I'll serve and spread God's love in other ways but not in such a direct way that i feel He is pushing me towards.

It is so very hard to believe that I will be back in three weeks. I just feel like there isn't enough time. Not enough time to love kids that have not experienced love. Not enough time to spread Go's word. Not enough time to help at the clinic. Not enough time to accomplish what is upon my heart.

The last Saturday of the month is Umaganda. This is when people in the community come together to help each other and work on a project together. I participated in this and enjoyed it very much. I'm not sure if I helped more or if I just entertained the local kids as I tried to help. Either way, I had fun, and I know some kids laughed a LOT!!!!!

This has been quite the first week in Rwanda. I am very excited to see what the next three will bring!!! One thing this week has taught me is to take each day one at a time. SOme of that is culture, but I believe some of that is God teaching me to depend on Him for the daily matters and not just the big stuff.

Serving and learning in Rwanda,
Katherine"


Stay tuned....I have an overview of three more weeks to post
AND I'll be posting separate stories with photos as well

Moments Like These......

On March 22, 2013 I started a journey to Rwanda. It would be my fourth trip to this beautiful country that has stolen a large part of my heart. I knew from the beginning this trip would be so different and yet just as mind blowing as the first three. From the start, it was different simply because I was going without any companions. (None that I knew anyway; there were plenty of people in the airports and on the planes.)

Admittedly, I am a people watcher. I love to sit and watch, wonder, and ponder the possible stories of each traveler. How long have they been traveling? Where did they start? Where are they going? Personal? Business? Pleasure? First time on a plane? Seasoned traveler? Missing their family? Going to a new place? Oh how I would love to stand at a common place and just take a survey for the sake of pure human curiosity!! However, I don't think that would be socially acceptable these days. Sometimes I get lucky and I get to find out the answers to some of these questions.

When I was waiting for the very first flight out of Nashville, a wonderful lady and I had a pleasant chat.  Here I was, fresh from first world living (and still in it) and my journey was less than two hours long. I was delighted to meet a new person. I never learned her name. But I learned that she has a son and (I think) 3 other kids. Her son is 13 years old. He went to Washington D.C. for a week long conference for school. He traveled there all by himself as he was the only student from his school to be selected. It was also his first time to fly. It was his first time to be away from home, away from friends, away from family, and most importantly away from his mom. I do believe he survived the week quite nicely and it was harder on his mom. She mentioned how the texts slowly decreased over the week as he made new friends. She was waiting for him to return at the same gate that I was waiting to leave. I love the irony that at any given moment so many people sigh in relief that their journey has ended and so many others are filled with joy as they begin their journey.

This lady was so thrilled and could not contain her excitement to see her son again. She showed me his picture on her phone and told me stories about him. She was glowing with the joy that she would soon hold her oldest son in her arms and once again her family would be complete. Then the moment came. The plane had landed and just needed to taxi to the gate. The door to the jet bridge opened. We kept talking but her concentration was shifting to the slow stream of people entering the terminal in front of us. Then there he was. He was back! I recognized him from the photos. He looked quite respectable as he was traveling in a suit. She politely left our conversation and went to embrace her son with open arms. He very willingly returned the embrace and had a matching smile of peace to be home again and with his mom.

Fast forward through an average flight and I was in D.C. waiting to get my bags in baggage claim. I overheard a group of businessmen recapping the week and saying their goodbyes. One guy told the others how his son had turned 16 a few days earlier and successfully earned his license. This was a Friday and his son had respectfully asked permission to use the car for the evening. The permission was granted with a few restrictions to include he was not allowed to have passengers. The gentleman telling the story starts to get this fatherly grin on his face, not the proud grin. The mother/wife was also out and about this evening and had driven by the son and witnessed passengers in the car. A newly licensed 16 year old on his first Friday with the car has been caught redhanded and he doesn't even know it, but he will soon. Due to the wonderful technology of cell phones, the father was privy to this information. I predict he enjoyed some disobedience in his younger days because he almost seemed happy to be able to going home to fulfill his fatherly role of discipline as if the circle of life was being completed. He was enjoying the time to share with his colleagues how his first job when he returned home would be to take away the ever coveted license of his son.

It is moments like these that I can't help but think of the list of things that are first world problems. What do we wear to work? How much is fuel going to cost now? Yard work, traffic, weather, drama, need new clothes, technological devices are breaking...the list could go on and on. However, this time I realized it is the other way around. Moments like these ARE third world problems. Mothers should be sitting on the edge of their seats waiting to be reunited with their eldest son. Fathers should have the role of disciplining their sons to teach them responsibility amongst many other values in life. Instead, I was heading to a country with countless orphanages. I was heading to a country where babies are found on the side of the road. I was heading to a country where there is an orphanage of over 500 children.

Moments like these.....I wonder who will greet these kids with a joyful smile and embracing arms.
Moments like these....I wonder who will discipline these kids out of love to teach them values.
Moments like these....I wonder who love these kids.